Feeling special...

For the last three days I have had my right wrist in my splint. The splint that I got from Ipswich Hospital when I was there to have the benign tumour removed 1.5yrs ago. Whenever it gets aggravated it is great to have and to wear for the day or the night. Well this week it is not settling down at all... Was in so much pain yesterday that I couldn't even sweep the floor in time for when Russell got home from Brisbane. I abandoned the task...

So what does Russell come home with for me??? A lovely bunch of flowers... To cheer me up. Not because it is Mother's Day on Sunday... Just because... I usually like plants that have roots on them so that I can plant them but this was such a lovely surprise. Thank you so much Darling. :)

Cheers Damaris

RIP Karma...

Beautiful Karma...

Her beautiful grave...

My very dear and close friend Margaret and her boys Dylan and James have lost a very dear friend... Karma was 14 years old and I had the privilege to spend her last night alive with her and Margaret. I stayed up with Margaret till 4:30am and then we just couldn't keep awake anymore... Later that day, Margaret took Karma to the vet who confirmed that she had advanced stomach cancer... She was put to sleep... To be in pain no more...

Karma you have been there for so much of Margaret's life and all of the boys lives... It has been a privilege to know you for the last seven years... You will always be remembered and never forgotten...

Cheers Damaris

Happy New Year, one and all :)

Our first Agapanthus since we came here :)

Today is a new year. 1.1.11... Cool numbers. :) Today is the chance that we get once a year to start stuff again. To dream of adventures that we might do during the year. To change and do things differently. To make new goals...

For me it is a chance to reflect on how I have done in the last year and how I can improve this year. I have come far this last year but know I have far to go. There are still many things I want to do and achieve and towards the end of last year lightened my load a little so that I would be able to more easily achieve some of those. Goals are a good thing to have. Realistic ones anyway.

In this year I want to keep on loosing weight. Am down 6.5kg and so many to go but am getting there. I will do it slowly. This year I celebrate my 40th Birthday and I want to go and jump out of a plane. You need to be under a certain weight before they will let you. Therefore I need to loose just a little more. Then want to keep going and get down to my ideal goal weight by the end of the year. I will see how I go. Not too much pressure though. I love my life and don't believe it should be about pressure. I want to live my life. I only have one so want to make the most of the one that God has given me. :)

This year I want to also sort out a few things in my head and have started seeing a counsellor. He is lovely and will be helping me over the coming months. I appreciate the time he is taking to help me.

There are changes in the air with Russell also. He is unable to work from home anymore on a Friday so will be away from our little family an extra night. This is not something that we are looking forward to and am trying really hard not to stress. Needless to say it is not really working. The boys are also upset about it and we will try and cope as best as we can. If only he could get a job closer to home... Hoping and praying...

This last year has made me also realise that I am truly blessed. I am grateful for each and every day I have with my family and friends and am so glad that we are were we are. I have growing and stretching to do that's for sure but who doesn't? I don't want to stop learning till the Lord takes me home but in the meantime I am happy to keep on doing the learning bit. :) It is good for me :)

Well at this point I want to wish you a very Happy New Year, may all your wishes and dreams come true :) I am gonna work on mine :)

Cheers Damaris

And then there were two... Dogs that is...

Our beautiful Toby...

All of them sleeping together...

Timothy saying "Goodbye"

Dogs all seeing Timothy off, together one last time...

Toby and his new necklace... What a cutie...

This is a post I have been dreading, I don't mind admitting it... Here is the whole story...

Where we live we are considered to be Rural. This means that I don't have to register my dogs. Before moving out here and on two other occasions, I rang Council and made sure that I was allowed to have three dogs. We had only Bailey at that stage. On their advice, which each time was... "Yes you can have as many as you like as you are Rural and on 8 acres"... we then went ahead and adopted Nova and Poppy... We came out here and all was wonderful.

As you know Poppy passed away May 2009 and so then it was just the two, Bailey and Nova... In May this year before adopting Toby, again I rang and they said the same old story...

Well there is new Dog and Cat State Legislation coming in from 10 December 2010 and so I went into the Council office a couple of weeks ago to see about getting some registration forms. I would never dream of going against the law so knew I had to fill out forms for our three babies.

While there, I am told that I can't have three dogs. I never should have had them in the first place. They tell me that because I am rural I can get away without registration but can still only have a maximum of two dogs... So here I am in tears as I don't know what to do. They have my name and address. I feel hunted and very, very hurt as I had done the right thing in asking three times as it was. Why were they changing their minds now???? It was not fair.

I ended up the next day, through blurs of tears, talking to a Planning Officer in the Council who I should have been put through to in the first place when asking about numbers of dogs... There this lovely lady proceeded to tell me that I either had to rehome a dog or apply for a Kennel Licence. This entails me displaying a sign at my gate that I want to have Kennel Licence, announce it in the paper (which I have to pay for), apply to council for the permit ($950) and then it goes to planning. If it is approved and no unreasonable objections are lodged and all my neighbours agree, I can then have the three dogs for a cost of $200 per year, as long as they keep agreeing with me keeping them... I mentioned that I had enquired about this on three occasions and have suggested, strongly, that their staff that answer phone calls be trained better. This is just not good enough... But unfortunately I just don't have those sort of funds...

A friend of mine had offered to adopt Toby and then he holiday with us but I didn't really feel good about that either. Me and my having to be a rules girl...

So in the end we have put Toby up for rehoming... Why Toby you ask? Because Bailey has back issues that he will need medication for eventually. Nova on the other hand is 10yrs old, is blind in one eye and has backward ear canals so also on frequent medications... Toby on the other hand is in perfect health and only 3yrs old... He would have a much better chance. But was not letting him go just anywhere...

To say that we are devastated is an absolute understatement... All along we have done the right thing and yet Timothy and us too are being punished. I can understand that a crackdown on loose dogs and cats has to be done. There are allot of owners out there not doing the right thing. But we are not one of them. We have done nothing wrong. We are enjoying the company of our four legged friends...

A place like Warwick I never thought this would happen in that's for sure. We are on 8 acres and not bothering anyone. They are inside dogs that only go outside to do their business and to lie in the sun...

I am encouraged that he will go to a friend of mine who not only lives in Warwick but who has three kids and another small doggy. They will get on fine and this way Timothy is really relieved that we can still see him. Toby will also be able to come and visit us sometimes. Toby will love their company and love being loved.

We wish we could keep him... We will truly miss him... Toby, you will always be in our hearts...

Cheers Damaris

Trying something new...

My Fish Oils and Vitamin B Complex Pills :)

I have been feeling rather up and down for a while now and so I asked some friends of mine what it could be. I got everything from pre menopausal to stress. I know that my hormones are out of whack still. I have always had problems with that. A big reason why both my boys are fertility babies...

So I thought instead of going on anti depressants (which I had been on for a long time and didn't want to go onto again if I can at all help it) I would try something a little bit more natural.

I ended up going on Fish Oils in the liquid form as it stretches the dollar much further than the capsules. I take 10ml a day in the morning with my first mouthful of Rice Bubbles. Then I down two Vitamin B Complex Horse Pills... Yep, they are huge but go down the throat just fine.

I have been on this concoction for 3 1/2 weeks now. Apparently it takes about a month to kick in and start working properly. Hopefully soon it will help with the moodiness and broken sleep that I seem to be stuck in at the moment.

Have tried to reflect and be really impartial... I know that I don't like it when the house is tidy and within 5 minutes of the boys or Russell for that matter, come home and they make a mess. I realise that I don't like the dirt coming past the front door rug. I realise that I don't like the kitchen being a mess when it can go straight into the dishwasher. I seriously feel like a broken record with the repetition of asking them to all put things away, etc.

I also realise that my primary love language is: Acts of Service. Words of Affirmation comes a close second... I love to do for others, especially my family.

Must work on those. It is humbling to realise that we are not perfect. We all have faults and I am no different. I have been working very hard to be less cranky over the last while and know it is making a difference. After all... If Mum ain't happy, ain't no one happy... Allot of pressure on us Mums that's for sure. I sometimes forget just how much power I really have. Power to build my children and husband up or to hurt them in some way... Hurting is something I don't want to do but does sometimes happen... But I do apologise and they accept my apology, which I really appreciate.

Here is to learning more about life and each other. :)

Cheers Damaris

Love my sisters...

A plaque that all three of us have from our last Straddie trip. :)

Today is one of those days... Went to a new church that I had not been to before and had a great time... Joshua came with me and is now wanting to go during term when Sunday School is on as well... He had a great time.

Today I am missing my sisters... Both Tina and Lis... Lis is now back with her husband Phil on the island up at Boigu, 5km south of PNG. She spent her holidays in Cairns and from all accounts had a ball. My Mum and Step Dad went and saw them while they celebrated their 9th Wedding Anniversary at the same time as well...

Tina, like my two brothers, I ring once a fortnight so that I can keep in contact and also stay a close part of their lives... The last few conversations have been short and I miss our chats... I miss Straddie most of all today... From changes happening around here I won't be going back there for a while and changes are afoot with my sisters as well. Still am hoping for a holiday between Christmas and New Year but probably won't be to Straddie. We may have to go up the coast I think... Springbrook has also been talked about at some point or another... Russell and I had our honeymoon there, so lovely memories...

Either way... Today, I miss them terribly and can't wait for the next time when I get to see them. Love my sister hugs...

Cheers Damaris

It's nice to be home...

Stared at this set of doors allot over the last two days...

We have just spent the last two days in Brisbane... At the Mater Hospital to be exact. Timothy had testing to do... First it was the Speech Language Pathologist and then the Occupational Therapist. That was Tuesday... Then yesterday we had a three hour appointment with the Psychologist.

All specialists tried as hard as they could to fit us in so that we could do as many appointments as possible in the shortest amount of time. Boy, I really appreciated that. Yesterdays Therapist Tania was not even supposed to have been working there that day so am really, really thankful to her. :)

We now have to wait for a round the table conference on Timothy so that they can then offer any advice and help for home as well as school. Will be good to see with what strategies they come up with... Hope there is something new that we can all try to ensure life is as easy for him as possible.

Overnight we ended up staying with Russell at his mum's as she is house sitting for her daughter at the moment... Was nice to be there with him during the week. Felt very strange as his mum was not there... Joshua scored well as he got to have two days off school. Couldn't leave him on his own for two days. hehe He was not really impressed though as he loves school and it is the last week before a big break, you know... Timothy did so well during all of the testing. He was truly exhausted by the end of it and was happy to see the back of the hospital as well... Now to wait for the results...

Today is just a 'shut the door and keep the world out' sort of a day. I am off to get some more sleep as have not had much in the last couple of days. A very good friend also passed away on Monday so am feeling very tender at the moment...

Glad to be home, that's for sure. :)

Cheers Damaris

Not going too well...

Since last Sunday we have been trialling Amines and are not doing the best...

Timothy has become very teary and quick to explode again since about Tuesday. Much less calm altogether... We are also decreasing his night tablet at this point and are down to 1/2 tablet which is great...

Joshua took till yesterday to finally crack. He has been back chatting and not doing as asked basically... He was doing so well for the whole time that we were properly failsafe. Was soooo nice to see and I want that boy back. He says that he was happier too... He doesn't like the new him much either...

Russell doesn't seem to have reacted to amines at all. Unfortunately, the rest of the family do so he will have to have amines when he is not with us as I will not bring it into the house where the kids and I can see it but can't have it...

As for me. I don't feel well within myself at all. I have been off all Anti depressants since last Saturday which is also not helping things... Been cranky at Russell and the boys since yesterday and know that my cheating while outside the home Thursday and Friday has not helped that at all.

I am looking forward to our last Amines dinner tonight... Burritos. Then tomorrow we are going failsafe again. I realise that there are problems with amines and that is all that matters. I don't need to do this challenge for another week to realise that things are not changing... They are what they are... Shame as the boys were enjoying having bananas back in their lives. Especially as banana sorbet.

So here is to things settling down again... I can't wait... Another couple of weeks and things should be right again. I hope...

I am glad that I have been getting allot of support from a forum that I visit regularly. Have also joined a Celiac Yahoo group as I want to end up going Gluten free and Casein free as well but that is all still in the early stages of investigation really... Am glad that there are so many recipes around these days for a change over that will come... Long way from actually doing that... I need to get rid of a whole heap of flour and pasta for example, first...

So here is to having things settle down again. :)

Cheers Damaris

Just plodding along...

Bailey keeping me company while I was feeling sad earlier this week...

It is now our third day without the cows and things are slowly going back to the way things were before. The front gate is still open and nothing has escaped. lol

The kids don't like to talk about them and neither do I. I have found out through email that they all arrived safely at Magrita Dexter Stud and that they are settling in very well. I was really glad to hear that.

We have now moved the bales of leftover hay out of the shed so that we can make a start on the cubby for the boys. The leftover bales will be used around the gardens and also help set up our new veggie gardens. They will certainly come in handy that is for sure. We are moving the veggie gardens down beside the shed at this point. We are starting with just one bed of 1.2m x 2.4m. It is rather late in the spring season now to start too much all at once. This way we can get some crops in and start from scratch really.

We are investigating about getting a hothouse and shade house as well. They will probably go down the side of the eastern side of the house so that the westerly sun in the afternoon doesn't hit it. They will not go against the house though rather against the retaining wall that goes down the whole length of that side of the house and then some.

Being inside the house area will also ensure that they don't get pecked at by the chooks. The fence around the veggie garden will be going up soon too to ensure hares, wallabies and chooks don't get anything before us humans do. lol

It has been a rather sad week for us here but you know what, things are looking up. We are making tracks on our plans to be self reliant and that is what is really important to us as a family. We all want this to work, not just Russell and myself.

So this weekend we are off to the Toowoomba Gem Fest. Timothy has been looking forward to it off course. Then Adam, a friend from Brisbane is staying from Sunday for a whole week. Can't wait for that either.

I joined Simple Savings a while ago now and just recently joined Flylady. Boy am I glad I did. I love her. Simple Savings has been a wealth of information for me and has helped me with things like: Monthly Meal Planner, decluttering, being more organised, cleaning more greener... The flylady has done her bit with her 15 minutes a day doing particular tasks. It has been fantastic and now I love to shine my sink. hehe

Anyway am off to put some washing away that my lovely husband brought in for me before the thunderstorm got too close, not that it came as it is now silent and still hot... Here is hoping. :)

Cheers Damaris

Closing of one window and opening of another...

Time to go to their old home...
Even hay and the milking machine went as well...

Rooster crowing on top of Sausage yesterday morning...

Today has been a tough day. After going into town early this morning and getting some fruit and other things I quickly raced home again, doing only the speed limit off course. I was waiting for some very important and lovely people to come to my place.

These lovely two people, Judith and Terry have taught Russell and I so much over the last 1.5 years. So much about care for bovine and how to look after them. When we got the two girls, Lavender and Lorray, Lorray was pregnant and Lavender was still on her mum, Lilly.

Now nearly two years later we have had bloat here that Lorray survived thank goodness, Sausage had the runs twice, we have two births and I milked. Today we said Good bye to our cows...

It has taken a while to come to this conclusion and it was not made lightly. It took me a long time to get to this stage and actually talk about it out loud. I still can't believe that they are gone.

We will visit off course as they are only 1.5hrs drive away. We are part of the Magrita Dexter Stud family now. Who knows one day we may have some back again but for now we have to look forward to the future.

When we first got here we knew that we had to plant alot of trees, bushes and shrubs. There are still none here. Sausage and now also Chloe got into them any chance that they got and unfortunately currently we don't have the money to upgrade the infra structure in order to keep them out properly. The electric fencing was not doing its job either. The mums were fine but the calves were a problem for us.

We will still have Sausage for the freezer and another one in exchange for Chloe when the time comes. Russell was not here but the boys and I certainly have had our crys good bye.

I will miss them all... I will always have a very soft spot for them. We though needed to do the right thing by them. That was most important. I still do feel like a failure but as Judith said: "At least you tried". Better than not trying at all.

On a brighter note, tonight our front gate is open for the first time in about a year. Oh how nice it is not to have to get in and out of the car all the time for the gate. :)

Cheers Damaris

Just another Day...

A rainy view out the front door. Bit how I feel at the moment...

Today, I must admit, I am feeling a little flat. I don't really know why just that I feel a little bit down for some reason. This week has been the last week of this school term and have also been working yesterday and today and will be there again tomorrow.

Getting home and seeing the place needing sweeping and beds needing making... I know these things need to be done but today I just can't be bothered. Do you have days like that? I do sometimes. Usually I make my bed as soon as I get up. It doesn't even have a chance to get cold. I like a made bed and like to walk into my room knowing it is done.

Swept floors are also important to me. I like to have them without the little crusher dust pebbles that so easily make it into the house. Especially when we have had a few days of rain. Mud is also easily traipsed in and even mats around the house doesn't stop the spread.

Russell is coming home tonight and I want it all nice and neat for him, having his dinner ready for when he walks in the door. He has had a full week at work, doing extra hours so that he can have and extra day off every three weeks or so. It must be very hard for him to stay away from us three nights a week. I try my best to not burden him with the little things that go here as he doesn't need the hassle. But I am tired. Tired as it is the end of school term and worried a little of what the holidays will bring.

Tomorrow I get my new mattress as long as the rain holds off... Timothy is off to respite at Bluecare tomorrow after school till Sunday afternoon. He is looking forward to his stay. I am glad as previously he didn't want to go back. It is nice to have that two night break every four months or so. Joshua is at a friend's place on Saturday and Russell and I are off to Brisbane for a housewarming. I am really looking forward to it. One night away without kids. That just doesn't happen.

We have some things planned for the holidays and are not going overboard with going to far and distant places, which I am glad about. I don't like to go too far. Much rather be a recluse and stay home. Hope I get to do that a bit. Will also mean no work for two weeks which will be strange. Love feeding those truckies...

Well here is to a better night sleep than I had last night and a brighter outlook. Will try and be a bit more cheery next time, promise. :)

Cheers Damaris